Problems with Money, Relationships, Work: Finding the Root of All Evil
In our lives, everything is interconnected. Every area—work, relationships, finances, health—influences another. But when problems start to pile up from all sides, it seems like it's just a chain of coincidences. Career setbacks affect your income, which, in turn, leads to conflicts at home over money. Your health deteriorates due to constant stress, and this closes the loop. In such moments, we can feel trapped, not knowing where to start, because it seems like every path is a dead end. We try to «patch the holes»—solve a problem at work, find a new relationship—but this doesn't bring a long-term result, because we're fighting the symptoms, not the cause.
In reality, all these problems can have one common root. It's not external circumstances, but our internal beliefs, fears, and behavioral patterns. How we think about ourselves and the world influences the decisions we make, how we interact with people, and how we deal with difficulties. In this article, we'll break down how to find this «root of all evil» and, by eliminating it, break the vicious cycle of bad luck.
1. The Interconnectedness of Problems: The Domino Effect
Imagine that your life is a system where all its parts depend on each other. If one part fails, it inevitably affects the others. For example:
- Low self-esteem (internal problem) → leads to you accepting a low salary and not standing up for yourself (problem at work) → which leads to financial difficulties (problem with money) → and this, in turn, provokes arguments with your partner (problem in a relationship).
- Fear of failure (internal problem) → you are afraid to show initiative and take on responsibility at work (career problem) → which leads to stagnation and burnout (problem at work) → and affects your mood and well-being (health problem).
We can see that all these problems are actually interconnected and are only a consequence of the same «general» system failure. And that failure is in our mindset, in our internal beliefs about ourselves and the world.
2. The Root of All Evil: Who's to Blame?
The main cause of all problems is ourselves, or more precisely, our subconscious beliefs. They are formed in childhood and adolescence and determine our behavior in adult life. These beliefs can be both positive and negative. For example, if you were praised for your successes as a child, you will strive for them in adulthood as well. If you were constantly criticized, you will most likely be afraid of making mistakes and avoid risks.
The most common negative beliefs:
- «I'm not good enough.» This is a basic feeling of inadequacy that manifests in all areas. At work, you're afraid to ask for a raise; in a relationship, you're afraid of being rejected; with finances, you don't believe you're worthy of a lot of money.
- «The world is unfair.» A belief that robs us of motivation. If we believe that nothing will work out anyway, we stop taking action. This leads to inaction, which, in turn, confirms that «the world is indeed unfair.»
- «Shame of success.» Sometimes we are subconsciously afraid of success because we were taught that «it's shameful to be rich» or that «happiness must be earned.»
It is these subconscious beliefs that lead to a person being in a vicious cycle that we call a «black streak.» They subconsciously sabotage their successes and constantly return to where they started, because their internal «compass» guides them toward failure.
3. How to Find and Neutralize the «Root»
To break the vicious cycle of problems, you need to stop fighting the symptoms and start working on the cause. This is a long and difficult, but incredibly effective process. Here are a few steps that will help you find and neutralize negative beliefs:
- Awareness. Start with self-analysis. Ask yourself questions:
- What do I think about myself?
- What do I believe in?
- What thoughts come into my head when I face a problem?
- Analysis. Analyze your past failures. For example, you failed in a relationship. Ask yourself: «What did I do wrong? Why did I choose this particular partner? What in my actions led to this result?»
- Work on your beliefs. As soon as you find a negative belief, try to rephrase it. For example, instead of «I'm not worthy of a lot of money,» say, «I am worthy of all the best.» Instead of «I'm a failure,» say, «I have every chance of success, and I'm ready to work on myself.»
- Small actions. Start acting differently. For example, if you're afraid to say «no,» try saying «no» in some insignificant situation. If you're afraid to ask for a raise, try just talking about it with your boss first, without expecting an immediate result. These small steps will gradually change your beliefs and behavior.
Remember that you can't change your life without changing yourself. As Albert Einstein said, «Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.» If you want something to change in your life, start with yourself—with your mindset, beliefs, and actions.
4. From the Particular to the General: How a Systemic Approach Works
When you start working on your inner world, you automatically change all areas of your life. A person who has overcome the fear of failure starts taking on responsibility at work, which leads to career growth and an increase in income. They become more self-confident, which is reflected in their relationships. Their well-being improves because they stop living in constant stress. Thus, by solving one, core problem, you solve all the others as well.
It's like treating the disease itself, not just the symptoms. It's not a quick process, but it gives a stable, long-term result. You're not just «patching holes»; you're building a new, solid foundation for your life.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do failures in different areas of life often occur simultaneously?
This happens due to the "domino effect," where all spheres of life are closely interconnected. For instance, self-esteem issues might lead you to settle for a low salary, which results in financial strain and subsequent family arguments. An internal glitch in your mindset reflects in your behavior across all directions at once. To stop this chain reaction, you must identify the common root cause rather than trying to fix each situation individually.
What is truly the "root of all evil" in my problems?
The primary cause lies not in external circumstances or bad luck, but in your subconscious blueprints. These internal filters are formed as early as childhood and dictate how you react to difficulties and what decisions you make. If your internal "compass" is set to fear or a sense of inadequacy, you will unconsciously sabotage your own success. By changing these deep-seated beliefs, you will automatically begin to change your reality.
How can I identify which specific mindsets are preventing me from living a normal life?
The best way is to start a self-analysis journal and honestly answer questions about your beliefs. Observe what thoughts come to mind during moments of stress or when facing obstacles. These are often phrases like "I'm not good enough" or "the world is unfair to people like me." Becoming aware of these automatic thoughts is the first and most vital step toward neutralizing them.
Is it possible to get out of a black streak on my own, without outside help?
Yes, it is entirely possible if you are prepared for disciplined work on your mindset. Begin by analyzing past mistakes and try to reframe negative mindsets into positive affirmations. Then, reinforce these new thoughts with small actions: for example, start saying "no" in situations where you previously tolerated discomfort. Gradual changes in behavior will, over time, completely restructure your life.
Why do I constantly choose the "wrong" partners or bad jobs?
We often unconsciously choose familiar patterns, even if they cause pain. If you hold an internal belief that "happiness must be earned," you will subconsciously seek out difficult relationships or grueling, thankless work. You choose what aligns with your opinion of yourself. To break this cycle, you must first convince yourself that you deserve better treatment and higher pay.
What should I do if it feels like everything is against me and I want to give up?
In such moments, it is crucial to stop "patching holes" in the external world and shift your focus to your internal state. Acknowledge that the current situation is the result of old behavioral patterns that can be changed. Start with the simplest steps that require minimal resources to regain a sense of control. Remember Einstein’s quote: insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results—so start acting differently.
How much time is needed to truly change my life for the better?
You can feel the first internal changes after just a couple of weeks of conscious work on your mindsets. However, for sustainable external results—in your career or relationships—it usually takes anywhere from a few months to a year. This is not a fast process, as you are building a new foundation for your personality. The key is consistency and a willingness not to quit when faced with initial difficulties.
Do I need to see a psychologist if I am overwhelmed by my problems?
If you feel like you have been going in circles for years and cannot find the "root" of your troubles on your own, professional help would be very beneficial. A specialist can help highlight blind spots and mindsets that you might not notice yourself. A psychologist will provide tools for working with fears and help you restructure your thinking more quickly. However, remember that even with support, the primary work of changing habits must be done by you.
How can I stop fearing failure and start taking action?
Fear of failure is often linked to childhood criticism and the fear of making a mistake. Try to lower the stakes of the outcome and allow yourself to fail, viewing it as valuable experience rather than a catastrophe. Start with very small, safe actions that will gradually build your confidence. Once you see that the world doesn't collapse after a minor mistake, taking action will become much easier.
We've discussed that problems with money, relationships, and work are just a consequence of our internal beliefs. We've seen that the root of all evil is in our mindset, not in external circumstances. Understanding this is, of course, an important step. But how do you move from understanding to action? How do you learn to make the right choices when it seems like everything is against you? I once found myself in a similar situation, where I had a lot of theoretical knowledge, but my life was not getting better. This is what prompted me to create the step-by-step guide «The Labyrinth of Life.» This book is a practical guide that will help you not only understand the causes of your failures but also start taking action to permanently get out of your «black streak» and get your life back on track. To begin your journey toward change, simply go to the very beginning, to the «Introduction» section.
