When It Seems Like You're Unlucky: Why It Happens and How to Change It?
«Unlucky again,» «Why does this always happen to me?,» «I must have been born under an unlucky star»—many of us are familiar with these phrases. It seems that luck always smiles on some people, while others are doomed to constant failures. This state, when one piece of bad luck follows another, can be very depressing and even paralyzing. But are luck and bad luck really just a coincidence? Psychology claims that our perception of luck and failure largely depends on our mindset, beliefs, and behavioral patterns. In this article, we'll look at why some people feel like they're unlucky and, most importantly, how to change this situation by taking your destiny into your own hands.
What is «Bad Luck» from a Psychological Perspective?
From a scientific point of view, bad luck is nothing more than a subjective perception of a series of negative events. Our brain is structured to focus on the negative. This phenomenon is called «negativity bias.» We notice and remember all the failures, while at the same time ignoring or devaluing our successes. For example, if you were late for an important meeting because of a traffic jam, you'll consider it bad luck. But you won't notice how thousands of other events in your life went smoothly and without a problem. This selective attention forms the belief that we are constantly unlucky.
In addition, «bad luck» is influenced by the so-called «syndrome of learned helplessness.» If a person constantly faces failures and doesn't see a connection between their efforts and the result, they start to believe that they can't change anything. As a result, they stop even trying to do something, and this inaction only strengthens their belief in their own bad luck.
1. Change Your Perception
The first step to breaking the vicious cycle of bad luck is to change your mindset. Instead of saying, «I'm unlucky,» try rephrasing it: «I've faced a difficulty, but I can overcome it.» This is not just a play on words. This wording shifts the focus from the passive role of a victim to an active position. You aren't just waiting for luck or failure; you are in control of the situation yourself.
Try starting a «luck journal.» Every evening, write down at least three small positive events that happened to you during the day. It can be anything: you found a parking spot, the bus arrived on time, or a friend gave you a compliment. This simple ritual will help your brain switch from negative to positive and teach you to notice small «victories» in your daily life.
2. Analyze Your Actions
Often, what we call bad luck is actually a consequence of our own actions or lack thereof. If you're constantly facing financial problems, maybe the reason isn't bad luck but poor budget planning. If your relationships aren't working out, maybe you should analyze your behavioral patterns. Bad luck isn't a coincidence but rather a repeating negative script that we create ourselves. Ask yourself these questions:
- What actions of mine led to this situation?
- What could I have done differently?
- What lessons can I learn from this failure?
The answers to these questions will help you see the cause-and-effect relationships and understand that luck isn't mysticism; it's the result of well-thought-out actions. For example, you think you're unlucky with your job. But if you analyze the situation, you might realize that you simply didn't send out enough resumes or improve your skills. In this case, the failure is not bad luck but a signal to act.
3. Turn Bad Luck into a Lesson
Failures are an inevitable part of life. They shouldn't be the end of the road but should become a point of growth. Every failure contains a valuable lesson. For example, you failed a job interview. This isn't bad luck but an opportunity to understand what skills you're lacking and work on them. Failures are feedback from life. Use them as a tool for self-improvement. Ask yourself: «What can I learn from this situation?» and «How can I use this experience in the future?» This approach allows you to not get stuck on the negative but to move forward, becoming stronger and wiser.
4. Expand Your Comfort Zone
Sometimes we call bad luck what is actually the fear of the unknown. If we sit still and do nothing, we feel safe. But in reality, the less we do, the less chance we have of success. Expand your comfort zone. This doesn't mean you have to jump in headfirst. Start with small steps:
- Meet a new person.
- Try a new hobby.
- Take on a small new project at work.
Every time you do something new, you open the door to new opportunities. The more you try, the more chances you have to «catch luck by the tail.» Remember that luck is the intersection of opportunity and readiness. You can't control all the opportunities, but you can prepare yourself for them. After all, even the most prolonged black streak can be the beginning of a new, more successful stage if you are ready to act.
5. Seek Support and Inspiration
When it seems like you're unlucky, it's very important not to be alone. Talking to supportive loved ones can help you look at the situation from a different angle and cope with negative emotions. Sometimes, simply talking about your experiences is powerful psychotherapy.
Look for inspiration in the stories of other people who have overcome difficulties. Read biographies of famous people, watch motivational movies, and subscribe to blogs of people who share their experiences. This will help you understand that failures are not the end of the world but part of the path to success. The feeling that you aren't alone in your struggle gives you strength and self-confidence.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why am I constantly unlucky, while everything seems to come easily to others?
Psychology suggests that "luck" largely depends on our mindset and behavioral patterns. People who consider themselves lucky are generally more open to new experiences and quicker to notice fortunate opportunities. If you are focused on the negative, your brain simply "filters out" lucky chances, leaving them unnoticed. Your internal state literally shapes the reality you perceive around you.
Is it possible to change one's fate and stop being a "loser"?
Yes, fate can be changed by working on your internal beliefs and habits. The first step is to take responsibility for your life, stopping the habit of blaming "the stars" or circumstances for your troubles. When you trade passive waiting for active effort, the sequence of events around you begins to change as well. Luck is not a random gift, but a result of your readiness for change.
What should be the first step if a prolonged black streak has begun?
The most important thing is not to remain isolated; try to talk through your experiences with loved ones. Communicating with those who support you helps you view problems from a different perspective and lowers stress levels. Sometimes a simple, honest conversation works as powerful psychotherapy, restoring the strength needed to fight back. After this, you can proceed to analyze mistakes and plan your next steps.
How can I tell if my failures are a result of my mindset rather than just a coincidence?
Pay attention to repeating scenarios: if you find yourself making the same mistakes over and over, the issue lies in your patterns. Chronic bad luck is often fueled by the habit of expecting a catch and preparing for failure in advance. The brain subconsciously seeks confirmation of your fears, and as a result, you attract a negative outcome yourself. Realizing this connection is the first and most vital step toward breaking the vicious cycle.
Where can I find inspiration when I feel like giving up?
Study the success stories of real people who have overcome difficult life trials. Reading biographies of famous figures or watching motivational films helps you realize that failures are not the end of the world, but part of the journey. A sense of connection to someone else's experience of struggle provides confidence and proves that there is always a way out. The main thing is to remember that your current situation is temporary.
Should I see a psychologist if it feels like I am cursed?
If a sense of being "cursed" or hopeless interferes with your life and work, professional help will be very useful. A psychologist can help identify hidden benefits of the victim role and work through deep-seated fears that block your success. Often, specific psychological traumas or parental scripts lie behind mystical "bad luck." Working with a professional allows you to understand the causes more quickly and find effective tools for growth.
Can I overcome a depressive state caused by failures on my own?
In the early stages, it is possible to manage if you undisciplinedly implement healthy habits and shift your focus. Start small: tidy up your home, engage in light exercise, and limit your consumption of negative information. Record even tiny successes throughout the day to train your brain to notice the good. However, with prolonged apathy and a loss of meaning in life, it is better not to take risks and seek medical help instead.
How long does it take for life to start changing for the better?
The first positive shifts are usually noticeable after just a few weeks of conscious self-work. Much depends on how deeply rooted your negative habits are and how actively you implement new knowledge. The key is not to expect instant miracles and not to give up at the first minor setback. Stable results require time, patience, and faith in your own strength.
We've discussed that chronic bad luck is not a coincidence but rather a consequence of internal beliefs and behavioral patterns. Understanding these causes is, of course, an important step. But what do you do next? How do you translate this knowledge into real-life changes? I once found myself in a similar situation, where I had a lot of theoretical knowledge, but my life was not getting better. This is what prompted me to create the step-by-step guide «The Labyrinth of Life.» This book is a practical guide that will help you not only understand the causes of your failures but also start taking action to permanently get out of your «black streak» and get your life back on track. To begin your journey toward change, simply go to the very beginning, to the «Introduction» section.
