How to Get Through Difficulties in Life, Preserve Yourself, and Become Stronger?
Life isn't always serene. At some point, each of us faces serious trials: it could be the loss of a loved one, a career collapse, health problems, or a sudden crisis that knocks the ground out from under you. In such moments, the world seems hostile, and our strength feels like it's leaving us forever. The feeling of hopelessness and despair can be so strong that we're afraid we'll break down, that we'll never be able to return to a normal life. This fear is perfectly natural. However, as psychology shows, the ability to not break down in hard times isn't an innate quality but a skill that can be developed. It's not a matter of avoiding pain but of knowing how to work with it so it doesn't destroy you. This article is your guide to building psychological resilience, which will help you not just get through difficulties but also emerge from them with new strength and wisdom.
Many people have gone through unimaginable tragedies in their lives and were able not only to recover but also to achieve incredible heights. Their experience shows that the key to surviving a crisis isn't willpower but the ability to adapt, seek resources inside and out, and maintain faith in yourself. Psychological resilience isn't just the ability to endure, but the ability to recover from setbacks, learn from them, and continue moving forward. It doesn't mean that you won't feel pain or fear; it means that you can get through these feelings without letting them consume you. In this article, we'll look at key psychological strategies that will help you not break down in hard times and use them as a springboard for personal growth.
1. Allow Yourself to Be Vulnerable and Let Emotions Flow
In our society, it's common to suppress «negative» emotions. We are afraid of appearing weak if we cry or talk about our pain. But it's precisely the suppression of emotions that makes us vulnerable. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Admit that you are hurt, scared, or offended. Talk about your feelings, write about them in a journal, or talk to someone you trust. This isn't weakness but courage. It's the first step to healing, because only by acknowledging the pain can you start working with it.
2. Recognize Your Zone of Control
In moments of crisis, we often feel powerless. It seems like nothing depends on us. This leads to a feeling of helplessness and paralyzes our will. It's very important to divide the situation into two parts: what you can control and what is beyond your power. For example, you can't change the fact that you were fired, but you can control how you'll look for a new job, how you'll maintain your skills, and who you'll talk to. Focusing on what you can change gives you back a sense of control and directs your energy into a constructive channel.
3. Don't Isolate Yourself: Seek Support
In hard times, it's very easy to cut yourself off from everyone. We feel like we'll be a burden or that we won't be understood. But isolation is the worst thing you can do. Social support is a powerful resource. Don't be afraid to ask for help from friends, family, colleagues, or a psychologist. Talking to someone who will listen without judgment can provide immense relief. Remember that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness but a manifestation of strength and self-care.
4. Take Care of Your Body's Basic Needs
When you're under stress, your body is working to the bone. Lack of sleep, poor diet, and a lack of physical activity can worsen your condition. Remember that the body and mind are inextricably linked. If you want your mind to be strong, take care of your body. Get enough sleep, eat healthy food, and exercise, even if it's just a 20-minute walk. This will help reduce stress levels and keep your body in working order.
5. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude
In moments of crisis, our consciousness constantly returns to negative thoughts. We «play back» all possible scenarios in our heads and sink into anxiety about the future. The practice of mindfulness (for example, meditation) helps you stay in the present moment and not give in to anxious thoughts. Another powerful tool is gratitude. Every day, write down at least three things you are grateful for. It can be something simple: a cup of hot coffee, a stranger's smile, a sunny day. This practice helps to shift the focus from what you don't have to what you do have.
6. Find New Meaning and Purpose
Sometimes difficulties arise to force us to re-evaluate our lives. If you lost your job, maybe it's a signal that you were not moving in the right direction. If you're going through a breakup, maybe it's a chance to find a healthier relationship. Find a new goal for yourself. It could be something big, like a career change, or something small, like learning a new skill. Having a purpose gives you motivation and directs your energy forward.
7. View a Crisis as a Lesson
The strongest people are those who have been able to learn from their setbacks. A setback isn't the end but feedback. After the crisis has subsided a bit, analyze the situation. Ask yourself: «What did this experience teach me?», «What can I do differently in the future?», «What qualities did I discover in myself?». This helps turn a negative experience into a valuable resource for the future and avoid repeating mistakes. Remember that any black streak isn't a punishment but a lesson.
8. Be Patient with Yourself
Recovering from a crisis is a process that takes time. Don't expect to be able to return to a normal life in one day or a week. Be patient with yourself, don't criticize yourself for weakness, and don't demand too much of yourself. Give yourself time to heal. Remember that it's a marathon, not a sprint.
Getting through difficulties in life and not breaking down is a hard but necessary path. It requires courage, patience, and a willingness to work on yourself. But the result is worth it. You will emerge from this trial as a stronger, wiser, and more resilient person, capable of handling any challenges life presents. Remember that you are not alone in your pain, and there is always a way out. The main thing is to have faith in yourself and be willing to take small steps every day to return to the light.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know if I am actually coping with difficulties rather than just enduring them?
The key indicator is your ability to not just "wait out" the storm, but to actively work with your emotions. Psychological resilience manifests when you acknowledge your pain without allowing it to destroy your identity. If you are seeking new meaning in what is happening and continue to take small steps forward, it means you are building the skill of fortitude. This transforms a difficult experience into a foundation for future wisdom.
What should I do if a sense of hopelessness becomes overwhelming?
First, you must regain a sense of control through the simplest possible actions. When the world feels like it is falling apart, focus on what you can actually influence: your daily routine, the order on your desk, or simply preparing a meal. These small domestic victories signal to the brain that you are still in charge of your life. This kind of "grounding" helps lower background stress levels and find the strength to tackle larger problems.
Why is it important to experience negative emotions rather than hide them?
Suppressed feelings do not disappear; they accumulate inside and can eventually lead to a nervous breakdown or physical illness. Allow yourself to cry, feel angry, or grieve—this is the body's natural response to loss or crisis. Only by acknowledging and "processing" the pain can you clear the space needed for recovery. An honest dialogue with yourself helps you move through the acute phase of a crisis more quickly and without long-term psychological trauma.
Can I develop psychological fortitude on my own?
Yes, it is not an innate talent but a skill trained through a conscious approach to stress. Start by analyzing your reactions: instead of self-flagellation, try to show yourself compassion, as you would for a close friend. Learn to see problems not as a "punishment of fate," but as a complex task that requires a solution. The gradual practice of these approaches will make you more resilient to any of life's storms.
How long does it take to fully recover after a crisis?
The healing process is always individual and can take anywhere from a few months to a year or more. It is important to remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint, and demanding an instant return to "normal" is counterproductive. The first improvements usually appear when you establish a basic routine and stop criticizing yourself for your weakness. Give yourself permission to move at a slow pace—time and self-care are the best healers.
Should I see a psychologist if I feel like I'm not coping?
If apathy and despair prevent you from performing your usual tasks for more than two weeks, it is a serious reason for a consultation. Professional support will help you find internal anchors more quickly and prevent stress from turning into chronic depression. A specialist will provide specific tools for managing anxiety that are difficult to find on your own when in a state of exhaustion. Caring for your mental health is a sign of strength and responsibility toward yourself.
Why do some people break while others become stronger after failure?
The difference lies in the ability to work with experience and extract meaning from it. Those who grow stronger perceive difficulties as a "growth point" rather than the end of their story. They do not avoid pain, but they do not allow it to become the center of their lives, maintaining a connection with reality and loved ones. Psychological flexibility allows them to adapt to changes and emerge from a crisis with new skills.
How do I stop fearing that something even more terrible will happen tomorrow?
Fear of the future is often fueled by uncertainty, so it is vital to focus on the present moment. Practice mindfulness: when your thoughts drift into an anxious future, bring them back to current tasks and sensations. Remind yourself that you have handled difficulties before and that you have the internal resources to solve problems as they arise. Trust in your own ability to persevere is the best defense against panic.
We've discussed that the ability to get through difficulties isn't an innate gift but a skill that can be developed. Understanding this is, without a doubt, a crucial step. But what do you do next? How do you turn this knowledge into real changes in your life? I once found myself in a similar situation, with lots of theoretical knowledge but a life that wasn't improving. This is what motivated me to create the step-by-step guide «The Labyrinth of Life». This book is a practical guide that will help you not just understand the reasons for your failures but also start taking action to get out of the «black streak» once and for all and get your life on track. To begin your journey of change, simply go to the very beginning, to the «Introduction» section.
