Karma or Psychology? Why Do the Same Scenarios Repeat in Our Lives?
Each of us has experienced moments when life seems to be repeating in a loop. You were fired from one job because of a conflict with your boss—and the same situation repeats at the next one. You ended one relationship only to discover the same problems in the new one. It seems like you attract the same difficulties to yourself, and no matter what you do, everything comes back to square one. In such moments, it's easy to believe in mysticism—in «bad karma,» «evil fate,» or «destiny.» It's much simpler to blame everything on external forces than to look for the cause within yourself. However, from a psychological point of view, repeating life scenarios are not a mystical curse but a perfectly explainable phenomenon that has deep roots in our psyche.
In this article, we will break down why the same scenarios repeat in our lives and how to learn to recognize and change them. We will show that you are not a victim of circumstances but a key figure in your own life's play, and you have all the power to rewrite its script once and for all.
1. The Concept of a «Life Script» in Psychology
The term «life script» was introduced into psychology by Eric Berne, the founder of transactional analysis. He defined it as an «unconscious life plan, formed in early childhood under the influence of parental injunctions and parental expectations.» Essentially, it's a set of beliefs and decisions we made in childhood that determine our behavior in adult life. These scripts can be both positive («I am a successful person») and negative («It won't work out for me anyway»).
How is a script formed?
- Parental beliefs. If your parents constantly said, «All men are cheaters,» «A lot of money is evil,» «You'll never succeed,» these phrases settle in your subconscious and form your beliefs.
- Imitation. We unconsciously copy the behavioral patterns of our parents or other significant adults. If you saw your parents constantly arguing, you will most likely reproduce this scenario in your own family.
- Traumatic experience. A trauma experienced in childhood—for example, betrayal, rejection, or bullying—can lead you to unconsciously «attract» similar situations to relive them over and over. This happens because our brain strives to «complete the gestalt» and find a solution for an unresolved situation.
2. Why Do We «Attract» the Same Things?
The answer is simple: because it's familiar. Our brain is a lazy organ. It strives to conserve energy and chooses the most familiar, tried-and-true paths. Even if these paths lead to suffering, they are still more preferable to the brain than the unknown. This is why, when you decide to change, your subconscious begins to resist. It's as if it says: «Why risk it? Everything here is familiar, everything is clear, even if it's bad. Let's go back to the usual script.» This is one of the reasons why it is so difficult to break out of a vicious cycle, out of that very «black streak» we're talking about.
The mechanism of repetition:
- Subconscious belief: «I am not worthy of love.»
- Behavioral pattern: You choose partners who confirm this belief (for example, emotionally unavailable ones).
- Result: The relationship ends, you feel rejected again, and your belief «I am not worthy of love» is strengthened even more.
This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You, unconsciously, create your own reality, and until you understand this mechanism, you will walk in the same circle.
3. How to Break the Vicious Cycle?
Breaking a life script is not a quick process, but it is absolutely real. It begins with awareness and continues through conscious, consistent actions. Here are a few steps that will help you:
- Identify your script.
- Think about what problems are repeating in your life.
- Analyze your past relationships, jobs, and financial situations. What patterns do you see?
- Ask yourself: «What in my behavior leads to this result?»
- Become aware of the root cause. Once you find a repeating pattern, try to find its root cause in your childhood. For example, if you constantly choose partners who humiliate you, ask yourself: «Who humiliated me in childhood? What did I think about myself then?»
- Make a new decision. This is the most important step. You must consciously make a new decision that will contradict your old script. For example, instead of choosing a partner who humiliates you, you decide that you are worthy of love and will look for a person who will value you.
- Start acting in a new way. This is the most difficult and most important stage. Our subconscious will resist. For example, you might feel afraid when you meet the «right» person. But you must consciously force yourself to do what contradicts your old script.
It's like you're rebuilding your house. The old foundation (negative beliefs) no longer works. You must destroy it and build a new, stronger one (new beliefs). It requires effort, time, and courage, but the result—a new, happy life—is worth it.
4. Responsibility and Freedom
When we blame karma or fate, we give away our power. We say, «There's nothing I can do about it.» But when we take responsibility for our life scripts, we gain incredible freedom. We understand that everything that happens in our lives is the result of our own choices, our thinking, and our actions. This realization gives us not only responsibility but also enormous power. We become not victims but the creators of our own destiny.
Sometimes, to change your life, you just need to decide to take one small step that will take you out of your comfort zone. This step can be incredibly scary, but it's the only way you can break the vicious cycle and start living the life you've always dreamed of.
We've discussed that our life is not a predetermined script, but a set of behavioral patterns that we can change. We've seen that the root of all evil is in our mindset, not in external circumstances. Understanding this is, of course, an important step. But how do you move from understanding to action? How do you learn to make the right choices when it seems like everything is against you? I once found myself in a similar situation, where I had a lot of theoretical knowledge, but my life was not getting better. This is what prompted me to create the step-by-step guide «The Labyrinth of Life.» This book is a practical guide that will help you not only understand the causes of your failures but also start taking action to permanently get out of your «black streak» and get your life back on track. To begin your journey toward change, simply go to the very beginning, to the «Introduction» section.
