When the Soul Is Alone: How to Deal with Loneliness in the Most Difficult Moments?
Life's difficulties don't come alone. They are often accompanied by a feeling of loneliness—deep and all-consuming. We can be surrounded by people, yet feel completely alone with our problem, as if we are behind glass while the rest of the world goes about its life. This feeling is especially acute during times when life knocks you off your usual path: after a breakup, job loss, illness, or any other crisis. It seems like no one can understand you, and attempts to share your feelings only intensify the sense of isolation. But is this feeling a sign that there's something wrong with you, or is it just a natural reaction to a difficult period?
Why Do We Feel Lonely in Difficult Moments?
The feeling of loneliness during a crisis is not an accident but rather a pattern. There are several psychological reasons why this happens.
- Fear of being a burden. We are often afraid to «burden» our friends and loved ones with our problems. We feel that everyone is busy, and we look weak or pathetic. This causes us to withdraw, become reclusive, and keep the pain inside.
- Shift of focus. When we are going through a crisis, our attention is completely focused on our inner pain. We are so consumed by our thoughts that we stop noticing signals of support from others. The outside world seems distant and unreal.
- Breakdown of familiar connections. Crises are often associated with loss: a job, a relationship, or health. With loss, familiar social connections that gave us a sense of belonging also disappear. This can be colleagues, friends from a shared group, or even acquaintances.
- Emotional barrier. Feelings of shame, insecurity, and the fear of being misunderstood create an invisible barrier between us and other people. We stop being sincere and put on a mask of «everything is fine,» which only intensifies the inner loneliness.
All of these factors lead not only to us feeling lonely, but also to us actively creating this isolation around ourselves. We don't give people a chance to help us because we are convinced that help is not coming.
This Is Normal, and Here's Why
It's important to understand: the feeling of loneliness during a difficult period is an absolutely normal and natural reaction of the psyche. It tells you that your basic need for connection and support is not being met. It is not a sign of weakness, but a signal that needs to be heard, not ignored.
Imagine that loneliness is simply a mechanism that reminds you of your human need for connection. It lets you know that it's time to start moving toward people, even if it's very difficult. By acknowledging this feeling, you stop fighting it and can direct your energy toward finding a way out.
Practical Steps to Overcome Loneliness
Getting out of loneliness doesn't always mean you have to rush to find new company. It's more of a process of slowly and gently restoring your connection with the world. Start with something small.
1. Acknowledge and Name Your Feeling
The first step is to stop suppressing this feeling. Sit in silence and say to yourself: «I feel lonely, and it hurts.» This simple acknowledgment relieves some of the tension. You stop fighting what is and can start working on it.
2. Start with «Micro-Contacts»
You don't need to go to a party right away. Start with the simplest actions that will help you break the cycle of isolation. For example:
- smile at a salesperson in a store;
- send a short message to a friend without expecting a reply;
- give a compliment to a stranger;
- just call a loved one and ask how they are, without talking about your problems.
These small, non-stressful contacts help you feel like a part of the world.
3. Be Vulnerable
The biggest mistake is pretending that everything is fine. True closeness and support arise when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Try to share your feelings with someone you trust. Say: «I'm having a really hard time right now, and I feel lonely.» You'll be surprised how often people are ready to lend a helping hand if they see that you need one.
4. Do Something That Brings You Joy
During a period of loneliness, we often forget about ourselves. Engage in a hobby that once brought you pleasure. This could be drawing, music, reading, or just a walk alone. This not only distracts you but also helps you reconnect with yourself.
5. Seek Support in a Community
If you feel that no one close to you can understand you, try to find a community of people who are going through similar difficulties. These could be forums, interest groups, or psychological support groups. The feeling of community and understanding can be a powerful resource that will help you get through this period. It is often in such groups that people find the strength to get out of a black streak.
The feeling of loneliness is not a final verdict, but a challenge. It is a time when you can learn to be your own best friend and also understand which of your loved ones are willing to go through difficulties with you. By surviving this period, you will emerge from it stronger, wiser, and more capable of appreciating true human connection.
We've discussed how the feeling of loneliness during a difficult period is not a sign of weakness, but rather a consequence of psychological isolation and the fear of being misunderstood. Understanding these causes is, of course, an important step. But what do you do next? How do you translate this knowledge into real changes in your life? I myself was once in a similar situation where I had a lot of theoretical knowledge, but my life was not getting better. This is what prompted me to create the step-by-step guide «The Labyrinth of Life.» This book is a practical guide that will help you not just understand the causes of your loneliness, but also start acting to break free from the «black streak» once and for all and get your life on track. To begin your journey toward change, simply go to the very beginning, to the «Introduction» section.
