The Illusion of Powerlessness: How to Regain Control Over Your Life Step by Step?
In every person's life, there are moments when it seems like everything is going wrong. Events follow one after another, and we feel helpless, like a leaf being carried by the river's current. This feeling of losing control can be caused by a series of failures, external circumstances, or chronic stress. When we don't believe in our own abilities and see no way to influence what is happening, a sense of hopelessness and apathy arises. However, a feeling of control is not always the result of global changes. It begins with small, daily, almost imperceptible actions that gradually restore our faith in ourselves. In this article, we will examine why we lose control, how it affects our psyche, and what simple but effective steps can help us feel like we have our hands back on the steering wheel.
Why Do We Lose Our Sense of Control?
The feeling of powerlessness is not just an invention, but a real psychological phenomenon. It can be caused by a variety of reasons.
- External circumstances. Natural disasters, economic crises, pandemics—these are all events that we cannot influence. They create the feeling that we are just passive observers in a world beyond our control.
- Chronic stress. When we are in a state of constant tension, the brain begins to operate in survival mode. In this state, we are unable to make sound decisions or take action.
- Personal failures. After a series of failures, «learned helplessness» can emerge. This is a state where a person, despite having opportunities, doesn't try to act because they are convinced that their efforts will be in vain anyway.
- Information overload. The constant flow of news and social media creates the illusion that we should be controlling everything that happens in the world. But this is impossible. As a result, we feel overwhelmed and helpless.
The «Small Steps» Method in Action
The most effective way to regain a sense of control is to focus on what we can change. And we must start with the smallest things. This approach, based on the Japanese philosophy of «Kaizen», helps to overcome the fear of large-scale tasks and gradually build self-confidence.
- Start with a daily routine. Create a small daily schedule for yourself and stick to it strictly. It can be anything: waking up at the same time in the morning, 15 minutes of reading before bed, an evening walk. When you control at least your schedule, it gives you a sense of stability and order.
- Organize the space around you. A cluttered home or desk often reflects chaos in your head. Start small: tidy one shelf, throw out unnecessary papers, or wash the dishes. When you bring order to your outer world, it creates a sense of control and order in your inner world as well.
- Create a list of achievements. Every day, write down at least three small things you have done. For example: «I washed the dishes», «I sent an important email», «I did my workout». This simple technique helps you focus on your wins, not your failures.
Psychological Techniques for Regaining Control
In addition to external actions, it is important to work on your internal state. Psychological techniques will help you change your attitude toward what is happening and regain a sense of your own influence.
Focus on What You Can Control
Divide everything that happens in your life into two categories: what you can control and what you cannot. For example, you cannot control another person's behavior or the economic situation in the country. But you can control your attitude toward it, your actions, and your reactions. Focus on the second category. Instead of worrying about global problems, focus on what you can do here and now.
Examples of what you can influence:
- Your health and physical fitness (through diet and exercise).
- Your finances (by controlling expenses and income).
- Your knowledge and skills (through learning).
- Your social circle (by choosing your company).
- Your emotions and reactions (through mindfulness practices).
The «Mindfulness» Technique
Mindfulness practice helps you return to the present moment. When you are anxious, you live in the future. When you are depressed, you live in the past. Mindfulness helps you realize that you are here and now. This allows you to make sound decisions and not give in to panic. Start with a five-minute meditation per day. This will help you detach from anxious thoughts and regain a sense of inner strength.
Remember that regaining control over your life is a process. Failures can happen, and that's normal. But even in the darkest moments, when it seems like you are in the very depths of a black streak, you always have one thing left: a choice. You can choose how to react to a situation, how to treat yourself, and what small step to take next. And it is in this choice that your true power lies.
We have discussed that losing control is not a verdict, but a consequence of internal beliefs and behavioral patterns. Understanding these reasons is, of course, an important step. But what do you do next? How do you translate this knowledge into real changes in your life? I myself once found myself in a similar situation, when I had a lot of theoretical knowledge, but my life was not changing for the better. This is what prompted me to create a step-by-step guide, «The Labyrinth of Life». This book is a practical guide that will help you not just understand the reasons for your failures, but also start taking action to get out of a «black streak» once and for all and get your life on track. To begin your journey toward change, simply go back to the very beginning, to the «Introduction» section.
