How to Get Through a Tough Period in Life and Emerge a Winner?
In every person's life, a moment comes when it feels like all your strength is running out and problems are snowballing. It could be losing a job, a relationship breaking up, health issues, financial difficulties—anything that pulls the rug out from under you. In such moments, it's easy to fall into despair, start blaming yourself or others, and believe that you're powerless to change anything. But in reality, tough periods are not a life sentence but a test given to us so we can become stronger. You can and should get through them, and most importantly—emerge not just a survivor but a winner who has gained invaluable experience and knowledge. The key to this isn't waiting for problems to go away on their own but taking an active and conscious approach to solving them. This guide will help you understand what is happening to you on a psychological level and give you concrete tools to get through this stage with your head held high.
The Psychological Mechanism of Stress and Despair
When we face serious difficulties, our body and mind shift into «survival mode». This is a natural reaction to stress. But if the stress drags on, it starts to destroy us from within. Let's figure out what exactly happens.
1. Emotional Exhaustion
Constant tension, anxiety, and fear cause our emotional resources to be depleted. We become more irritable, tearful, and apathetic. Any difficulty, no matter how minor, starts to feel like a catastrophe. Emotional exhaustion is a signal from our body that we urgently need to stop and restore our strength.
2. Cognitive Distortions: Tunnel Vision
In a state of stress, our brain stops thinking rationally and switches to «tunnel vision». We only see the negative, focus on problems, and fail to notice opportunities. All our thoughts revolve around how bad everything is and how unlucky we are. This skews our picture of the world, creating the illusion of hopelessness. A person stops believing in their abilities, and their self-esteem drops to a critically low level.
3. Learned Helplessness Syndrome
This phenomenon, discovered by psychologist Martin Seligman, explains why people who have experienced a series of failures stop trying to change their lives. They learn that their efforts are futile, and even when a real opportunity to change something appears, they don't use it. This state completely paralyzes the will, drains motivation, and dooms a person to a passive existence. They become a prisoner of their past experience, even if circumstances have long since changed.
How to Get Through a Tough Period: Practical Steps
Getting through a tough period isn't just about waiting for it to end. It's an active effort that involves changing your mindset, behavioral patterns, and taking care of your body. Here are a few steps that will help you on this path.
Step 1: Acknowledge Your Feelings and Accept the Situation
The first and most important step is to honestly admit your feelings to yourself. Don't suppress the pain, disappointment, or anger. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling. Remember that difficulties are a part of life, and no one is immune to them. Accepting the situation isn't about resignation but rather about realizing that you can't change what has already happened. But you can change your attitude toward it and your future actions.
- Talk it out: Share your feelings with a close friend, family member, or psychologist. Sometimes just talking about the problem helps solve it.
- Keep a journal: Start a journal where you write down your thoughts and feelings. This will help you better understand yourself and your emotions.
- Meditate: The practice of mindfulness and meditation helps to calm the mind and stop dwelling on negative thoughts.
Step 2: Take Care of Yourself—It's Not a Luxury, It's a Necessity
In a state of stress, we often forget about the most basic things: food, sleep, and physical activity. But they are the very foundation on which our mental health is built. Self-care isn't selfishness; it's a necessity.
- Regulate your sleep: Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time. Good sleep helps restore energy and improve your mood.
- Eat a balanced diet: Include foods rich in vitamins and minerals in your diet. Avoid fast food, sweets, and alcohol.
- Get physical activity: Even short walks in the fresh air can work wonders. Exercise helps produce endorphins—the happy hormones that relieve stress and improve your mood.
Step 3: Break the Problem Down and Start Acting
The feeling of hopelessness often arises because we see one huge, unsolvable problem in front of us. To cope with it, you need to break it down into small, manageable parts.
For example, if you lost your job:
- Step 1: Update your resume.
- Step 2: Make a list of companies where you want to work.
- Step 3: Send out 3-5 resumes a day.
Each completed action will give you a sense of victory, strengthen your self-confidence, and create a positive momentum for moving forward. Remember that the path to success is rarely straight. It consists of many twists and turns, ups and downs. And it's on the downs that we learn the most.
Step 4: Develop Mental Flexibility
Flexibility is the ability to adapt to changing circumstances. Instead of dwelling on a single failure, learn to see it as an opportunity for growth. Ask yourself: «What went wrong?», «What lessons can I learn?», «What new paths can I find?». This turns failure into a valuable experience. Remember that the path to success is rarely straight. It consists of many twists and turns, ups and downs. And it's on the downs that we learn the most.
Step 5: Seeking Support
Sometimes it's extremely difficult to get out of a state of chronic bad luck alone. Don't be afraid to seek help from a psychologist or coach. Professional support will help you identify the deeper causes of your state and develop an effective action plan. Surround yourself with people who believe in you, inspire you, and support you. A positive environment is a powerful catalyst for change.
Ultimately, a tough period isn't a life sentence but the result of our own thinking. You can stop being a «magnet for failures» if you become aware of these mechanisms and start acting to change your life. This path requires courage and persistence, but the result—freedom from the shackles of bad luck—is worth it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why has a “black streak” entered my life, and why is everything falling apart at once?
A series of setbacks is often the result of accumulated stress and negative internal beliefs, rather than mere ill fate. When problems pile up like a rolling snowball, the psyche becomes exhausted, and we begin to make mistakes in basic things. A difficult period is not a sentence, but a signal from your body that current problem-solving methods are no longer working. It is important to stop and analyze your reactions to break this vicious cycle.
What should I do first if it feels like my strength is depleted?
The first step is to stop blaming yourself and acknowledge that things are genuinely difficult for you right now. Shift your focus away from the overall scale of the problem and toward an active, mindful approach to solving it. Start by restoring basic resources: sleep, nutrition, and minimizing excessive information noise. Once you regain control over small daily routines, you will find the strength to tackle larger tasks.
Why do failures repeat over and over, even though I am trying?
This is often because you are acting according to old behavioral patterns that led to the crisis in the first place. Our brains tend to choose familiar paths, even if they lead to a dead end, creating an illusion of "chronic bad luck." To escape this state, you must identify the underlying causes of your reactions and develop a new plan of action. Understanding the mechanisms of your own thinking transforms a "victim of circumstances" into a winner.
Can I develop psychological resilience on my own?
Yes, resilience is built by overcoming difficulties and correctly perceiving mistakes as valuable experience. Instead of asking "Why is this happening to me?", ask "What is this for, and what can I learn?". Every decision made during a difficult period strengthens your internal foundation. Gradually, you will notice that things which used to pull the rug out from under you are now perceived as ordinary tasks.
Should I ask for help, or is it better to cope on my own?
Asking for support is not a sign of weakness, but a manifestation of wisdom and strength. Sometimes, an outside perspective helps you see an exit where you only see a wall due to emotional involvement. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and believe in you, as a positive environment accelerates the exit from a crisis. In complex cases, working with a professional can save years of independent and sometimes fruitless searching.
How can I stop fearing new problems in the future?
Fear fades when you develop confidence in your ability to handle any challenge. Difficult periods provide invaluable knowledge about ourselves and our limits that cannot be gained during "peacetime." Remember that you have made it through hardships before and became stronger because of them. Your resilience is your capital, and it stays with you forever.
How long does it usually take to emerge from a deep life crisis?
The duration of this stage depends on the severity of the situation and your readiness to change habitual beliefs. On average, stabilizing one's condition takes anywhere from several weeks to several months of active self-work. The key is not to expect instant results, but to move in small, consistent steps. Every day of mindful action brings you closer to the moment when the "black streak" is left behind.
Is it possible to change my destiny if I consider myself a failure?
The concept of being a "failure" is merely a label and a result of your current mindset, not an innate quality. As soon as you realize the mechanisms behind your setbacks and begin to change your behavioral patterns, the reality around you will begin to transform. You can stop being a "magnet for problems" if you take responsibility for your life. Freedom from the shackles of misfortune begins with the courage to take the first step toward change.
We've thoroughly explored how a string of failures is not just cruel fate but a logical result of certain internal beliefs and behavioral patterns. Understanding these mechanisms is, without a doubt, an important step. But to get out of the vicious cycle, you need not only knowledge but also a concrete, step-by-step guide. It was with this goal in mind that I wrote the step-by-step guide "The Labyrinth of Life," which will introduce you in detail to how to get out of that very black streak of bad luck and get your life on track for good. To begin reading it, simply go to the very beginning, to the "Introduction" section.
