Debunking Myths about Fate: Can You Change What's "Meant to Be"?
In moments of difficulty, when one setback follows another and life seems to be testing our resilience, many people ask themselves, «Is this my destiny?» Belief in predestination is, on the one hand, a way to explain events and relieve ourselves of responsibility, but on the other, it's a trap that robs us of faith in our own abilities. Myths about fate are deeply rooted in our minds, and we sometimes don't even notice how they influence our decisions and our attitude toward life. For example, the phrase «it wasn't meant to be» is often used as an excuse for inaction or giving up on a dream.
However, modern psychology offers a completely different view on this issue. It states that while we cannot choose the circumstances we are born into, we are completely free in our reactions to them. We are not passive spectators, but active participants and creators of our lives. In this article, we will debunk the most popular myths about fate and show how, by taking responsibility for yourself, you can change your life for the better.
1. Myth #1: Fate is an unchangeable plan written from above
This myth is the most common and the most dangerous. It implies that our life is a script that has already been written, and any deviation from it is impossible. This approach deprives us of free will and turns us into puppets in the hands of higher powers. People who believe in this myth often say: «What is fated cannot be avoided» or «It won't work out anyway, so why bother trying?» This leads to apathy, passivity, and an unwillingness to fight for your own happiness.
What's the reality?
From a psychological point of view, life is not a straight road but rather a labyrinth with many forks. Yes, we have certain limitations—our genetics, our family, our society. But these factors are only the «walls» of the labyrinth, not its route. We choose where to go: right or left, forward or back. Every choice we make, whether a small or large decision, changes our future path. Try to look at your life as a blank canvas on which you draw your unique pattern.
2. Myth #2: Bad luck is a curse of fate
When we are plagued by failures, we are often inclined to blame higher powers. «I'm just unlucky,» «This is my black streak, and there's nothing I can do about it.» This approach shifts responsibility for what's happening to «unknown forces.» It's convenient because you don't have to analyze your mistakes, change, or work on yourself. If fate is to blame, then we are not to blame. However, this view deprives us of the most important thing—the ability to fix the situation.
What's the reality?
Psychologists argue that «bad luck» is most often the result of our own actions, or, conversely, inaction. It is a consequence of certain internal beliefs and behavioral patterns. For example, a person who is afraid of failure may refuse new opportunities. And then failures will indeed follow one after another, but not because it was «destined,» but because they themselves made the decision not to try. Luck is not a mystical force but the result of the right actions, perseverance, and a willingness to learn from your mistakes.
3. Myth #3: Fate always brings you together with the «right» people
Many believe that «fate» itself will bring them together with the ideal partner, friend, or business partner. This leads to a passive waiting for a miracle, instead of actively building relationships and seeking like-minded people. A person sits and waits for the «right» person to appear in their life, and when it doesn't happen, they become disappointed and blame fate again.
What's the reality?
Relationships are the result of active work. We create our own environment. The more open we are to new acquaintances and the more we develop, the higher the probability of meeting interesting people. By choosing who to communicate with, you change your life. You can surround yourself with pessimists, and then your world will be full of negativity. Or you can choose to socialize with positive, goal-oriented people who will inspire you. This choice is entirely in your hands.
4. Myth #4: You can't escape your fate
This myth is closely related to the first one. It claims that any of our resistance to the «plan of fate» is useless and even harmful. A person can live an unloved life for years, work at a job they hate, or stay in unhappy relationships, explaining it by saying «you can't escape your fate.» This leads to internal conflict, depression, and a chronic sense of dissatisfaction.
What's the reality?
Our life is a continuous process of change. And we can be not only its victims but also its initiators. When we consciously decide to change our lives, we begin to create a new reality. This can be a job change, moving, ending a toxic relationship, or starting a new hobby. Every such decision is a step away from the old path and the creation of a new one that is better suited for us. There is no single «right» path; there is only your personal one, which you forge yourself.
5. How to Become the Creator of Your Life
By realizing that the myths about fate are just illusions, we can take control of our lives. Here are a few practical tips on how to do this:
- Take responsibility. Stop blaming external circumstances and other people for your failures. Acknowledge that you are the only one who can change your life. This is not a call for self-flagellation but a call for empowerment.
- Change your mindset. Replace passive beliefs with active ones. Instead of «I'm unlucky,» say, «I'll do everything to succeed.»
- Act. Even the smallest steps lead to big changes. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Every mistake is an experience that makes you wiser.
- Develop self-analysis. Ask yourself why you act a certain way. What drives you? What fears are holding you back?
- Seek opportunities. View difficulties not as obstacles but as opportunities for growth and development.
We've discussed that our life is not a predetermined script but a field for creativity. The myths about fate that we so often use actually prevent us from realizing our potential and becoming happy. However, realizing this is only the first step. How do you move from understanding to action? How do you learn to make the right choices when it seems like everything is against you? I once found myself in a similar situation, where I had a lot of theoretical knowledge, but my life was not getting better. This is what prompted me to create the step-by-step guide «The Labyrinth of Life.» This book is a practical guide that will help you not only understand the causes of your failures but also start taking action to permanently get out of your «black streak» and get your life back on track. To begin your journey toward change, simply go to the very beginning, to the «Introduction» section.
