A Life Crisis - A Signal to Change Your Values
A life crisis is always painful. It's a state where your familiar world crumbles, old meanings lose their power, and the future seems cloudy and frightening. This can be caused by major events: divorce, job loss, illness, or the death of a loved one. But sometimes a crisis comes without a visible reason. On the outside, everything may be fine: you have a job, a family, friends, but on the inside, there's a void, apathy, and a feeling that you're not living your own life. In moments like these, we tend to blame circumstances or ourselves, but we rarely consider that it might not be the end, but a signal.
From the perspective of depth psychology, a life crisis is not a punishment, but a catalyst. It's a turning point that forces us to stop, look inside ourselves, and understand that our old values no longer work. We live in a society that imposes certain ideals on us: success, wealth, social status. And we, unconsciously, begin to build our lives around these external benchmarks. But when these benchmarks crumble, we lose our footing. This is the moment when we realize: what we thought was important doesn't actually bring us happiness.
A life built on someone else's values sooner or later leads to internal conflict. We can achieve all our goals, but still not feel satisfied. This is the «crisis of meaning», which is a harbinger of deep change. By realizing that old guidelines no longer work, we get the opportunity to build a new, more meaningful life based on our true values.
Three Signs That Your Crisis Is a Signal for Change
How do you know that your life crisis isn't just a setback, but a call to re-evaluate your values? There are several key signs that can indicate this.
- A sense of meaninglessness. You achieve your goals, you get recognition, but you don't feel joy. Your job brings in an income but no satisfaction. You socialize with people, but you feel lonely. This indicates that your actions don't align with your deepest needs.
- Chronic fatigue and apathy. If you don't even have the energy for things that used to bring you pleasure, this could be a sign of not only physical but also emotional burnout. Your body and mind are «refusing» to spend energy on things that have no meaning for them.
- A constant feeling of anxiety and internal conflict. You often feel an inexplicable anxiety that isn't connected to specific events. Inside, there's a struggle between what you «have to» do (external expectations) and what you «want» to do (your true desires).
If you recognize yourself in these signs, it's a good reason to stop and ask yourself some deep questions about what your life is truly built on.
How to Find Your True Values?
Re-evaluating your values isn't a quick process. It requires self-analysis and honesty with yourself. Here are a few exercises to help you start this journey.
1. «What would I be willing to do for free?»
Ask yourself: «If money and public recognition didn't matter, what would I be doing?» The answer to this question can give you a clue to your true values. You might find that you love helping people, being creative, learning, or traveling. These are the things that bring you joy and satisfaction on their own, not because of some external benefit.
2. «What do I value in other people?»
Think about the people you admire. They could be historical figures, friends, relatives, or movie characters. What exactly do you find appealing about them? Their courage, honesty, kindness, creativity? What we value in others is often a reflection of our own hidden values.
3. «What makes me angry and upset?»
Negative emotions can also be a compass. If injustice makes you angry, it may indicate that you value fairness. If irresponsibility upsets you, you may value reliability and order. Examining your negative reactions can help you understand what's truly important to you.
4. «Live» one day according to your new values
After you identify a few of your potential values, try living one day guided by them. For example, if you realized you value «creativity,» dedicate the day to painting, playing a musical instrument, or writing poetry. If you value «connection,» spend the day with loved ones without being distracted by your phone. Pay attention to how you feel at the end of the day. A sense of satisfaction and fulfillment will be the best confirmation that you are on the right path.
5. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the ability to be in the moment and observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This practice will help you separate your true desires from those that have been imposed on you. When you are in a state of mindfulness, you begin to notice what brings you joy and what only brings you fatigue. This will help you make choices that align with your true needs.
A life crisis is not a dead end, but a kind of reset. It's an opportunity to tear down the old foundation that was built on someone else's ideals and create a new one based on what is truly important to you. By accepting this challenge, you will not only get out of a temporary black streak but also find inner harmony and self-confidence.
We've thoroughly explored how a chronic life crisis is not a coincidence, but rather a consequence of our actions not aligning with our true values. We've analyzed its roots and discussed practical steps to re-evaluate them. But what do you do next? How do you translate this knowledge into real changes in your life? I once found myself in a similar situation, where I had a lot of theoretical knowledge, but my life wasn't getting any better. This is what prompted me to create the step-by-step guide «The Labyrinth of Life». This book is a practical guide that will help you not only understand the causes of your failures but also start acting to get out of a «black streak» once and for all and get your life on track. To begin your journey toward change, simply go back to the very beginning, to the «Introduction» section.
